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Roundtrip Ticket to San Jose: $108 A Night’s Stay at American Inn: $130 An Hour of Bay Tour at SFO: $10 4 Days of FOKANA Experience: Priceless Everyone probably knows that writing about FOKANA (Federation Of Kerala Associations in North America) is a waste of time. FOKANA has degraded itself through its many-fold non-directional activities and by the presence of “over-qualified” and uncanny office bearers. It’s always been money that played the vital role, and every role, for that matter. My attempt is to jot down some of my “real-world” experiences with FOKANA, the association, and its office bearers. As an introduction, let me state that I never had a positive feedback about FOKANA from anyone. Sometime back, poet Balachandran Chullikkad was one of the chief guests of a FOKANA convention. After going back from the US, when asked about his trip to the US, and about FOKANA, he did not have anything nice to say about FOKANA. I recently happen to read an interview with the former Ms. FOKANA in “Malayalam Pathram”, and she was quoted as saying that she was never given any opportunity to be in the limelight for the 2-year term of the office bearers. Various groups and “regional forces” within FOKANA can only be matched by the dirty group politics within the political parties in Kerala. This leaves me thinking that however learned or knowledgeable we are, underneath of our minds, we still are power-and-publicity-hungry, even though, most often than not, we refuse to acknowledge it. I went to this year’s FOKANA convention with great expectations (and with some of the “images” of FOKANA in mind), not because of anything else, but to see how “Keralite” are the second generation of US born Malayalees and their poor parents. I have met quite a few top FOKANA office-bearers and a good number of American Born Malayalees. I was a bit surprised about their attitude, and about their comments when approached for some help or the other. They invariably spoke harshly, without leaving a bit of respect for others. To reiterate my thoughts, I have quotes from the president of FOKANA, and top organizers like PP, PTM, GG (In charge of Hospitality), and Anita to name a few. (I use short names like PP and GG because I am advised by my well-wishers not to use the full name of any of the organizers.) The first evening of FOKANA convention was just great. Beautiful girls walking around, and the Civic Auditorium and its surroundings were in a festive mood. The auditorium was huge, and there were a full house of attentive (and loud) audience. The first evening saw performances from MANCA, KALA, KAW, and qJada. The next day and the days to follow saw competitions, presentations, exhibitions, and most importantly campaigning for the FOKANA election. The “best of the lot” was the Chiriyarangu conducted by Raju Mailapra. Dr Roy from Chicago was simply great in setting the trend that humor means sex to Malayalee. Everyone with the exception of Mr. Veerendrakumar (Mathrubhoomi), Thomas Jacob (Malayala Manorama), and to an extent Kottayam Joseph depended on sex to generate humor. Someone (I can’t recollect his name) went to the extent that “just because I am talking like this, doesn’t mean that I am indecent. This is the only reason why all these people are gathered here. If you can’t talk sex, at least do it.” Another one was desperately seeking permission from Raju Mailapra for cracking an “Adults Only” joke—something Raju Mailapra called as a Midnight Joke. Raju refused his request probably looking at the number of young boys and girls assembled in the hall to have a taste of the sense of humor of the Malayalee. But the joke of the convention was not this Chiriyarangu: that was when in his banquet day address, the President of FOKANA shouting “God Bless America” while he preferred to be mum about India or Kerala. If you don’t take me wrong, here is what I think of such jokes: I tell dirty jokes too. But I wouldn’t be too comfortable sharing such jokes outside of my friends’ circle. The audience, which gathered for the Chiriyarangu, included young boys and girls from the age of 2 or 3 to grand parents who could be 80 or more years older. More than 99% of the jokes in the Chiriyarangu were really dirty. The rest weren’t jokes. The last day (the banquet day) at FOKANA was a mess. I haven’t seen a more disorganized function in my entire lifetime. There were 2000 odd people to attend the function, and there were (reportedly) 400 volunteers! That’s an awesome figure. But they couldn’t make the program look neat or well organized. I recalled Kerala Association of Washington programs. We needed just 10 volunteers for any program (attended by about 300-odd people) to look organized. All attendees were asked to come for the banquet wearing ethnic dress. All the organizers wore their “ethnic” dress too—full suit with matching (bright) tie. All the orators spoke in the “ethnic language”, that is English. At the break, the audience enjoyed the English song by the winner of the second prize in FOKANA singing competition (the first price winner was literally asked to get lost because the whole deal was fixed.) One of the organizers addressed guest of honor Sugatha Kumari as “Sujatha Kumari”, and the hapless poetess had to tell the esteemed organizer that she was Sugatha Kumari and not Sujatha Kumari. Sensing the mood of the situation she was in, Sugatha Kumari cut short her speech, and while she was reciting her poem on love and humanity, audience and the organizers were shouting and were on the lookout for the best chicken breast available. What I saw there was a real identity crisis. People wanted power and wanted to be recognized. People needed attention and for that they yelled, screamed, and created unpleasant environment. Images from FOKANA [You need to spend $125 to be a registered entrant of FOKANA. I like to call such a registrant a Normal $125 loser. The Normal $125 loser got no better than a street-dog’s treatment in FOKANA convention this year.] At 4:50 PM at a registration booth: Normal $125 loser: “I want to register...” GG (In cahrge of Hospitality): “Registration is closed at 5 PM” Normal $125 loser: “But its only 4 50” GG: “OK, What’s the state code for Seattle, CI?” Normal $125 loser: “No. Seattle is in the state of Washington. Code for Washington is WA” GG: “Did you actually pay $125?” ****** Normal $125 loser: “I have my complaints about your Chairperson, Hospitality” PP (Top Organizer): “She is frustrated. It is big, and people who are responsible are not showing up.” Normal $125 loser: “So, does that mean that she can express her anger on us?” ... PTM (Top Organizer): “She was shouting at her husband also.” ****** PP (Top Organizer): “Don’t be too smart. Give your ticket.” Normal $125 loser: (thinking) I am moved by your love and affection. PP: “If you have seat numbers assigned in your ticket, you’ll have that seat reserved for you!” ****** Normal $125 loser: “I have seat number in my ticket. That seat is occupied by someone else.” PP (Top Organizer): “Go, and find a seat. You can even sit with VIPs.” Another organizer: “You don’t have a seat? I don’t have one too. I actually gave it to someone who did not have a seat.” Normal $125 loser: “Then why did you insist on seat numbering?” Another organizer: “Don’t ask me. I am from Dallas.” ****** Normal $125 loser: “Can I sit in this seat, sir?” VIP: “What do you mean? This is a VIP seat.” Normal $125 loser: “Yes, sir. But no seat is available, and organizers asked us to go sit anywhere we can find a free seat.” VIP: “That’s impossible. This is a VIP seat.” ****** Normal $125 loser: “Namukku seat illa...” (We don’t have seats) Anita (with such a pride): “Well, I don’t speak Malayalam!” Normal $125 loser (shouting): “Then get us somebody who speaks Malayalam.” Anita: “This uncle may help you!” That uncle could not help us. ****** GG (In charge of Hospitality): “You were supposed to judge for me... You did not turn up.” One of the Judges: “I am so sorry. I had to work till 5 AM last night and I could not turn up. Can I have tickets for today’s Yesudas ganamela?” GG: “I don’t know. Did you register?” One of the Judges: “Yes. 4 tickets. I didn’t get any packet.” GG: “Let me look up.” After 4 minutes of unfruitful search through a big list of registrants (this list was not sorted in any order)... GG: “I can’t find your name.” One of the Judges: “We did not get the packet.” GG (yelling): “Why didn’t you tell me that FIRST?” ****** I can go on forever. But, why? You got it, right? (Written on July 18, 2000) Read my other e-mails: |
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